I has a theory. To wit, which are, peoples is dumb.
From the morons who think that, when it snows, it is "okay" to park their minivan halfway into the handicapped spot at the supermarket, to the idiots who think that the plural of "aircraft" is "aircrafts."
The Chicago Public School system is churning out students who think the words "waste" and "waist" are the same thing . . . so it spends almost $100k on cappucino machines for "home economics classes." And don't worry, folks, the guy who hired those people is soon going to be in charge of the Department of Education. Just think of how much money they can spend on fancy coffee machines then.
The President-elect keeps telling us about how bad the recession we're in is . . . except that a recession is defined as two consecutive Quarters of negative economic growth, which we haven't had yet. Now, don't get me wrong, I think the economy is headed into the proverbial shitter, but I'm betting that if you want to avoid a recession, you probably don't want to tell people that we're in one and the sky is falling. After all, perceptions can be more powerful than reality, and if you keep telling them the economy is in recession, people are going to start acting that way . . . which is going to bring on the very thing your "bailout" is seeking to prevent.
And for all our conservative friends out there . . . quit whining that the President-elect's bailout plan amounts to socialism. If that's the case, he's only doing what the current President already did.
To the one guy who voted against impeaching Governor Blagojevich because it's "not the job of the State Assembly to impeach the Governor." Really? Then who's job is it, exactly?
To the guy who voted "Present" on the impeachment: what were you thinking?
To the Honourable Jesse White, the Illinois Secretary of State: sorry, the Illinois Supreme Court said "No," too. Why, exactly, did you think you could block the appointment of Roland Burris?
To the gun-control advocates: ice picks and screw drivers kill people, too. How come you're not advocating banning them?
To the NRA: could you please show me where the Second Amendment says you're entitled to a howitzer?
To the folks protesting Israel's actions in Gaza: could you please explain to me why it is bad for the Israelis to bomb Hamas, but okay for Hamas to rain rockets down on Israel at will?
To the people who think the military is too large: with the force stretched to the limit with current operations and committments, the PRC gearing up to turn the Pacific into a Chinese lake, Russia trying to restart the Cold War and yahoos with AKs and dinghies turning the waters of east Africa into a pirate playland, could you please explain to me again why it is a good idea to shrink the military again?
To the Air Farce: could you please point to just one example of you winning a war all by yourselves?
To NASA: is it really that hard to get back to the Moon? I mean, you've already been there.
To India and Pakistan: look, when are you two just going to cut to the chase and start tossing nukes at each other?
To Ronald D. Moore: no, really, I get it. And your show still sucks.
To the environmentalists: oil or nuclear power. You're going to have to choose one.
To the next copy editor who thinks that "breech" and "breach" are the same thing: I'm going to hunt you down and show you the difference.
To Donald Rumsfeld: I have a new activity to see you through your golden years of retirement from public service: hunting land mines. With a hammer.
To Bill Gates: really, all the money you're spending on propaganda isn't fooling anyone. Vista still sucks.
To fan fiction writers everywhere: please. Don't.
To Tom Clancy: the P-51 Mustang was not "conceptually just an improved Spitfire." Really.
To all the "military experts" who think that the German military was just the schnizzle: if they had the bestest soldiers and the bestest equipment evah . . . how come they lost?
To teachers who want to keep telling us how wonderful teachers are and how underappreciated they are: you'd help your case immensely if you learned how to spell first . . .
To the next physician who wants to stick a finger up my rectum: really, you should start off slow. Perhaps a nice dinner first, with flowers, some violin music . . . you know, get me in the mood.
Tha-tha-that's all, folks.
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