Johnny Can't Spell . . .

. . . because most of the rest of us, it seems, are morons.

R'uh r'oh. Just warning you now, it may be time to run and duck and cover. It's going to be one of those again.

There are a lot of people running around who descry the state of education in this country. Just about as many as who run around telling us how wonderful teachers are, and how unappreciated and underpaid they are. Now, before you all go off jumping to conclusions because of the last part of the preceding sentence, let me clear something up.

Education is a wonderful thing. I'm all for it. But I have to say, since it seems that most of the partisans on either side of the debate on the relative state of education in this nation can't seem to either spell or use the English language correctly, they're not helping their case any.

Let me put it this way . . .

"Orientate," or any variation thereof, is not a word, nor has it ever been a word. You can not "orientate" something, nor can you have it "orientated." You can, however, orient something, or have it oriented.

The plural form of the word "aircraft" - or, for that matter, of "landing craft" - is not "aircrafts" (or "landing crafts"). "Crafts" are something you do during an Arts & Crafts class. But it is one aircraft, two aircraft, three aircraft, many aircraft. Just like the plural form of the word "deer" is, well, "deer" and not "deers."

"Irregardless" is likewise not a word. The word you're looking for is "regardless."

The singular form of the word "corps" is not "corp" but "corps." The word "corp" does not exist, unless you put a "." after the "p", in which case you get "corp." which is the abbreviation of the word "corporation." Not to be confused with the word "corpse," which means a body, "corps" means a body of something, such as a large body of soldiers, or a Nursing Corps, or a Corps of Engineers. One corps, two corps, three corps, many corps. United States Marine Corps, not United States Marine Corp.

When you have a word that ends in "s" and you are indicating possession, you use an apostrophe but you do not add another "s." As in "That is the Phillips' car" and not "That is the Phillips's car."

There is no such thing as a "preventative" measure or a "preventative" anything. The word you are trying to say is "preventive."

The word is "normalcy," pronounced "normal-see" and not "nor-mal-i-see."

And it is "nuclear," pronounced "nu-clear" and not "new-cue-leer."

It is "Look! There are two moose!" and not "Look! There are two mooses!"

The word "waist" and the word "waste" do not mean the same thing.

The word "peek" and the word "peak" also do not mean the same thing.

Nor do the word "breech" and the word "breach."

So, given that I keep seeing those linguistic sins, and many others, continually committed by allegedly educated people, it doesn't surprise me in the least that Johnny is a little baffled when it comes to spelling and the language. But what really frosts me is that I see these errors also being consistently made by professional teachers. And if the people who are in charge of teaching the language can't use it properly, then who is to blame for little Johnny not being able to spell?