Ho, Ho, Ho, and Har Har de Har Har Har

Is it over yet? The holidays, I mean. That wonderfully magical time of the year when we all pretend to be nice to each other, and that we actually like our relatives. That glorious season where retailers tell us that if we don't start spending those holiday dollars in October, our friends will curse us for all eternity, our children will grow up irrepairably harmed, and our significant others will run off with the nearest available neighbour . . .

Oh, crap. We still have New Year's to get through . . .

Well, on the bright side, there are only 362 more shopping days until Christmas, and 332 days until certain talking heads can start trotting out the "war on Christmas" stories. I can hardly wait.

You know, it's funny. Granted, I went to a private school, but when I was growing up, I don't recall people getting this worked up over the holidays. When we had school assemblies to "celebrate" Christmas, those parents and students who were Jewish, for example, didn't object or protest. Likewise, when we had school assemblies to acknowledge Hannukah, those parents and students who were Christian didn't object.

So, what happened?

Really, I've got to tell you, I could care less if you are Christian, Jewish, Muslim, whatever. Good on you. All I ask is that you obey the law, treat me with the same respect you expect me to treat you, and I could care less how you choose to worship, or whether you chose to worship at all.

But, please, let's get over ourselves. If there is a God, chances are He doesn't care how you choose to worship Him, either.

By the way, Christmas is not Christ's birthday. How do I know this? Because Christ was born during the Roman census, and the Romans did their census in the Spring. In the Classical world, the new year began in March, not January. Christmas is, however, an appropriation by the early Church of a pagan winter festival.

Oops. There I go, prosecuting my very own "war on Christmas." Oh, well. The good news is, as it is now after minight here . . . there are only 361 more shopping days left . . .