Things to do in 2009

Well, really, that should be "Things I should do in 2009" . . . Your mileage may vary.

1) Find a safe place to lock up my M4 because, I swear to God, if the neighbour's dog takes one more dump on my lawn, I may send a few rounds their way.

2) Help a senior citizen cross the street . . . whether they want to go or not.

3) Find a Terrier-proof dog toy - preferably one that doesn't squeak.

4) Actually finish something I start to write. That would be a nice change of pace.

5) Keep telling myself "Don't kill the civilians."

6) Show my friends that I do, indeed, appreciate them.

7) Move my tax bracket up.

8) Move my blood pressure down.

9) Stop missing cigarettes. After all, they don't miss me.

10) Actually buy a book the next time I go to a bookstore.

11) Not that I want to rush things, but maybe fix that flat tire on my Bronco. I mean, it's been six months all ready . . .

12) Stop laughing hysterically every time I think of Rod Blagojevich going to jail . . . but it's so damned funny.

13) On a related note, stop waiting for Illinois to produce an honest politician. It's not going to happen.

14) Adopt another dog.

15) Become God-Emperor of the Universe. Okay, this one might take a little longer than a year . . .